Zvichida akanzwa akasununguka nekuti ndinotaura nezvemari yekurarama. Kana kuti zvimwe ndine chiso chinoti "Handizokutongi iwe." Asi izvi zvaive zvakawanda kwandiri. Muhupenyu hwangu, vanhu vanowanzorega nyaya iyi sehosha kana muchida.
Iyo data inoratidza kuti handisi ndoga. Maererano nekuongorora kwechangobva kuitwa neSoFi, 39 muzana yemamioriyadhi vangada kuzivisa chirwere chepabonde chinotapurirana zvepabonde kune munhu angangodanana naye pane kuvaudza kuti vane chikwereti chakawanda sei.
Zvinosuruvarisa, kudzivisa hurukuro yemari kana kufambidzana kunotungamirira kukuvhiringidza kwemhando dzemhando. "Kubva pakuona, kunze kwepfungwa" inova tsika, uye tinogona kuzvidzivisa kusvikira mushure mechato. Zvadaro, rimwe zuva, tinomuka uye tinoona kuti tiri mune imwe yenhepfenyuro yemari.
Kune zvakawanda zvinotyisa nyaya pamusoro pehukama hwemari dzinokonzera njodzi , kubva pachivande mabhengi ehurumende kusvika kune nengozi yematokari ekurasikirwa kwematokari kusvika kune zvikwereti zvakavanzika zvakavanzika. Mune imwe nyaya yakaipisisa, ndaiva neshamwari yaive yakabiwa neyekare-musikana, iyo yakaramba ichidhura $ 30,000 yekwereti kadhi rechikwereti muzita rake.
Uye kunyange kana vasingagari mukudarika kwemari , kurwisana nemari kwakarurama uko uko nekusatendeseka mune zvakanyorwa zvinowanzokonzera kurambana.
Sezvo mumwe wako asingagoni kukuvimba iwe kana iwe wakavanyengedza nemumwe munhu, havagoni kukuvimba iwe kana kusatendeka kwemari kwakaitika.
Ndicho chikonzero nei zvatinoda kutanga kutanga tine hurukuro dzezvemari pamwe neshamwari dzedu mangwanani. Heino mari yekukurukurirana yaunoda pane imwe neimwe yero yehukama hwako.
Ihwo Huchi Mwedzi Phase
Aa, chikwata chechichi. Iyi ndiyo apo zvinhu zvose zvinofadza, endorphins yedu ine matiri, uye tichiri kufunga kuti mumwe munhu haagoni kuita zvakaipa.
Hazvishamisi, saka, kuva nehurukuro pamusoro pemari panguva ino kunogona kuratidzika sechinhu chiduku chisingaoneki uye chisina rudo chaunogona kuita. Sei uchiuraya iyo vibe, chaiko? Uye, chokwadi chinotaurirwa, zvingave zvakaoma kutaura pamusoro pemari izvi izvi kutanga (kunze kwekuti iwe uri musi wangu kubva kune humwe husiku). Asi usati wawana zvakadzama muukama uhwu, zvinokosha kuziva zvauri kushanda nazvo.
Imwe nzira yekutanga kuunza kukwidzwa kwemari ndeyokutaura pamusoro pekuti umwe neumwe wenyu anokoshesa uye ndezvipi zvinangwa zvaunazvo .
Maitiro uye zvinangwa zvinowanzove nemhando yemari yemari yakabatanidzwa kwavari, saka inogona kuva nzira iri nyore yekupinda muhurukuro isinganyadziswi yemari. Somuenzaniso, achida kufamba munyika kana kutanga bhizimisi inoda humwe mutauro wekukurukurirana kwemari. Chero chero chinhu chero chipi zvacho munhu anoda kuite chichareva mari neimwe nzira.
Elle Martinez weMurume Nomudzimai Anopa mari inoratidza kufambisa mariri nemibvunzo yakadai se "Unoda kuitei pakupera kwegore?" Kana kuti "Unoda kupi kurarama makore mashanu?"
"Kana mushure mekunge imi vaviri muchiona kuti munoda kuenda kupi, zviri nyore kuongorora nhamba uye kuuya nechirongwa chekuenda ikoko," anodaro.
"Nechinangwa ichocho, unogona kuzarura nedzimwe nhamba."
Anonyorawo kuti iwe unogona sei kuedza kutarisana pakubatsirana kune zvinangwa izvi. Sezvo hukama huri kufambira mberi, anoratidza kushanda pamwe chete pamigariro inobatsira.
Chimwe chinhu chaunogona kuita pakutanga kunotaura nezvekurerwa. Mushure mezvose, urikudzirana zvakanaka?
"Imwe nzira yekugadzirisa nyaya yacho ndeyokubvunza kuti mari yakabatwa sei mumhuri yavo," anodaro Valerie Rind, munyori weGold Diggers neAfabeat Dads: Nhau dzechokwadi dzeveShamwari, Mhuri, uye Nhepfenyuro Yezvemari . "Kwakanga kuripo here, kana vabereki vavo vainyatsojeka nezvemari yemhuri? Wakanga uri kadhi rechikwereti uye chimwe chikwereti chakagamuchirwa chikamu chemararamiro avo here? Kwakange kuri kuchengetedza mari here? Mhinduro dzavo dzinogona kukupa maonero ekutanga maitiro avanoita mari yavo pachavo. "
Ndiri panhanho iyi mukudanana kana iwe uchifanira kuona kana ushamwari uhwo hwakakosha. Zvinosuruvarisa, izvowo danho redu tinowanzoita kuti tifurise kuburikidza kuitira kuti titarise pane zvikamu zvinonakidza.
Iyo "Iri Kuwana Zvikuru" Phase
Kana uchinge wapfuura chikamu chechikwereti, zvinhu zvinogona kutanga kuwedzera zvakanyanya.
"Iyi haisi nguva yekuva," anonyevera Rind. "Kurukura zvinhu zvakadai semari yako uye mamwe mari, mari, uye chikwereti."
Rind inonyeverawo kuti rutivi rwusina kunaka rwemashizha-kureva, zvikwereti - haisi nzvimbo bedzi iyo vaviri vanogona kunge vasingabvumirane. Ichokwadi kuti iwe unofambidzana naye anogona kunge akapfuma uye anoshandiswa kune imwe mararamiro aunoita apo iwe unowanzogadzirisa dhora.
Chinhu chinokosha ndechokuti kukurukurirana uku kunoitika musati matanho ose anokosha anokosha: Kufamba.
Kufamba Pamwe Chete
Vanhu vazhinji vanoenda pamwe chete kuti vawane mari, asi maererano neRind, izvo zvingasava chikonzero chakanakisisa chekuita. Anofunga kuti unofanira kufambidzana pamwe chete nokuti wakazvipira.
"Chii chinoitika kana iwe ukaputsa?" Anodaro. "Iwe unogona kuramba uri mumamiriro ezvinhu anotyisa apo mumwe wako angave asingagoni kurarama ari oga. Uyezve, kuzvisunungura pachako uye zvinhu zvako zvinogona kunge zvakaoma uye zvinokakavara semunhu panguva yekurambana, "anonyevera kudaro.
Saka panguva ino, vakaroorana vangada kuva nehurukuro pamusoro pehukama hwavo kuti vave nechokwadi chokuti vari kufamba mune zvikonzero zvakanaka.
Kubatana
Tinotarisira iye zvino iwe uri kunyatsosununguka kutaura nezvemari, uye zvizhinji zvepfungwa dzinokosha dzakaputirwa. Panguva ino, uri kungowedzera kuhurukuro inopfuurira.
Zvisinei, unofanirwa kuve nechokwadi kuti nyaya dzinotevera dzemari dzakurukurwa uye dzinoverengerwa:
- Mitsva (mubhadharo, zvikamu, mari yekusagadzikana) uye kudhakwa
- Mabhizimisi aunayo
- Mari inokweretwa kune vamwe vanhu, mungave mhuri kana zvimwe
- Chero zvikwereti zviripo zvino
- Kuchengetedza, mazvikwereti, uye zvipo zvinoramba zvichiitwa
- Mipiro yezvipo (chiratidzo chakanaka chezvaunonyanya kukoshesa)
- Vana (kana iwe uchida ivo, uye kuti vachawana sei chirongwa chemari)
- Zvinhu zvakashata: zvinodhaka, kusungwa, uye jeri nguva
- Zvirongwa zvekugara.
- Maitiro ekubhadharisa mari
- Zvinowedzera, matariro, masimba emweya, uye mazano ekufambisa (Rind inotaura kuti zvakakosha sei kuchengeta zvose izvi kusvika pane zvehupenyu munguva yako yeupenyu.)
- Mutero unodzoka
Kana iwe uchinetseka kuverenga izvi, tsunga mwoyo: Rind inoti haufaniri kubvumirana pane zvose, kana zvimwe zvinhu zvakawanda. Chikamu chinokosha iwe umwe neumwe unowana pane imwe iyo ichibva.
Mifungo Yokupedzisira
Kana uchinge waroorana, kukurukurirana kwezvemari hakuregi. Iwe uchange uchiita zvisarudzo zvemari pamwe chete nguva dzose, kusanganisira zvimwe zvinoitika gare gare muupenyu - sekutora nguva yekurega basa uye yekugadzirisa nzvimbo. Asi kana iwe uchitevera mirairo iyi uye uchengetedze mitsetse yakasununguka yekukurukurirana muhukama hwako hwose, izvi zvisarudzo zvichave zviri nyore - uye iwewo uchadzivisa kushamisika kusingadikanwi mumugwagwa.